YOUR EXISTENTIAL LONELINESS

A message by Dr. Kreighton L. Chan at the All of Grace evening fellowship meeting, January 20, 2019

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be” (Leviticus 13:46).

(Leviticus 13:43-46)

There has been much being written about the millennial (18-34 year old) generation. Of all age groups they have the highest rates of anxiety and depression. Suicide is the second leading cause of death, just behind car accidents. Some have considered this group “lazy,” yet they are the most highly educated generation ever. But a college degree now is less helpful than a high school diploma was in the past. There is a shortage of good-paying jobs, and student loan debt is at an all time high! Not only that, 88% of minimum wage workers are 20 years and older, and 40% of them are college graduates! If they can afford to get married and start a family, it is pushed back nearly 10 years from former generations.
And social media has done them more harm than good. Sure, there are some benefits. But it has also given them a platform to “appear perfect.” And their desire to seek “external validation” from their peers has led to perfectionism or “ambition anxiety.” They are the least trusting out of all the other generation. Can you blame them? When dating apps and social media post pictures of beautiful, successful people, they later find out it’s not true. And there are other sources of stress. They are concerned about the future of our planet and have “eco-anxiety.” And their global concerns bring them guilt as they are preoccupied with the starving, dying, and oppressed peoples throughout the world. As a group they are most accepting of mental health problems. And it’s now “hip” to be depressed as many social icons today openly speak of their own depression—including Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Kristen Bell, and The Rock. Marijuana use is common among them and may soon surpass their alcohol use. This may briefly help them to “dissociate” from their depressed feelings, but chronic use is associated with worsening depression. There is a shortage of trained mental health workers. But millenials as mentioned are the least trusting generation, so they may not benefit from them even if they are available.
This is the current narrative of the multiple unique stressors felt by millennials. And this is the accepted cause for their anxiety and depression. But are these the real reasons? Has no generation before them had their challenges? Are they merely victims of our age of technology, uncertain economy, and global concerns? And if they were provided better paying jobs, dropped out of social media, stopped taking drugs, and the health of our planet improved, would these mental health issues just disappear? A millennial young lady posted this recently,

“A few weeks ago I was feeling depressed, so I went for a walk to the beach, with hopes of feeling a bit of relief. When I got there, I cried, because I was looking at something beautiful, the ocean, and I couldn’t access the emotion of joy. I just felt so sad and so pained. I wasn’t thinking about any environmental or political issue. No existential dread or fear was on my mind. I was just a human trying to feel better and couldn’t. I don’t think the argument for Eco anxiety holds up for that experience (https://medium.com/@arianahowell/why-are-millennials-so-depressed-eada3e78262e)

No one is saying that these factors do not produce stress. But this young lady had the insight to question the standard narrative of sociological factors accounting for her lack of joy. She was on to something.
As a doctor, I was trained to look for the root of my patient’s problem. If I couldn’t find their “disease” which is the source of my patients’ problems, I couldn’t prescribe a cure. Anxiety and depression are just the “signs and symptoms” of a deeper underlying disease. But what is it? This is not the first generation that have felt this inner turmoil. It is common knowledge that this age group in other generations is prone to these type of feelings. I certainly had it when I was this age. The Bible says these symptoms are due to existential loneliness—a loneliness for God and a loneliness for Christ. The young lady I quoted thought she wasn’t having existential angst, but she was. She acknowledged her depression, but she couldn’t point to the cause. Most people like this young lady don’t really know why they feel so bad. Fixing these sociological factors may help a bit and bring some temporary “happiness.” But it’s like putting a band-aid over an aggressive skin cancer. You may not be able to see it, but it’s still there, and in time it will kill you. And until this existential loneliness from sin is “cured” by Christ, this vacuum of anxiety and depression will remain. And not only in his life, but it will stay with you for eternity in Hell. This is true not only for millennials but for all generations.

I. First, your existential loneliness is due to sin.

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be.”

This is the man with leprosy that we read about earlier. The Bible teaches that leprosy is a type, a picture of sin with all its awful consequences. And this man illustrates all the hallmarks of sin.
To begin, sin is deep within us.

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean”

We inherited our sin nature from the first man Adam. Because he sinned, we all became sinners. Scientists have recently discovered what the Bible has said all along. That the human race began with one man and one woman. And this genetic trait of sin is like no other. Some genetic traits may or may not be passed on. And even if it is passed on, it may not be passed on completely. So features in the parents may or may not be seen in their children. That accounts for the usual genetic variation that we see among offspring. But the sin from Adam has been inherited or passed down to all human beings. The “genetic penetrance” is 100%. There are no exceptions. All people are sinners. The Bible says,

“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned” (Romans 5:12).

We are born in sin. David the Psalmist said,

“I was shapen [in the womb] in iniquity [sin]; and in sin did my mother conceive me” (Psalm 51:5).

The effect of Adam’s sin starts from conception, as soon as we are born. We need to teach children to be good. And even then they are not very good. But we never have to teach a child to sin. If you’re familiar with the book and movie “Lord of the Flies,” you know what I mean. The message is that well-educated English boys left to themselves will degenerate into savagery and sin. This shows the deep depravity of our inner sin nature. It may seem absent, but it’s always there. It will come out like in old Western movies when the marshal, “the strong arm of the law,” is not in town.
This sin nature is also evident even in babies,

“The wicked are estranged [separated from God] from the womb: they go astray [go the wrong way] as soon as they be born, speaking lies” (Psalm 58:3).

We hear the parents of poorly behaved, screaming babies say they are “teething,” “need a nap,” “having food allergies, or even just a little “naughty.” There sometimes may be some small truth to this. But more often than not, babies are just displaying their sinful nature.
Dr. Isaac Watts was a contemporary of John and Charles Wesley, as well as Jonathan Edwards. He wrote hymns that speak of our inherited sin nature. Please stand as we sing Watts’ hymn,

Lord, I am vile, conceived in sin,
And born unholy and unclean;
Sprung from the man whose guilty fall
Corrupts the race, and taints us all.

Soon as we draw our infant breath,
The seeds of sin grow up for death;
Thy law demands a perfect heart,
But we’re defiled in every part.

Behold, I fall before Thy face,
My only refuge is Thy grace;
No outward forms can make me clean;
The leprosy lies deep within.
(“Lord, I am vile conceived in sin,” by Dr. Isaac Watts, 1674-1748).

Your sin nature is imbedded deeply within your heart. The Bible says that your sin comes out of your ruined and depraved heart (Matthew 15:18,19). You may appear good to others, but you cannot do any real good that is accepted by God. As long as you have the heart that you have, you can only sin in the sight of God.
And then, sin remains within us.

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be.”

Because sin is a part of our fallen nature, it will remain with us. Even a true Christian retains this sin nature that we struggle with all the days of our earthly life. Thank God, we also have a new nature to battle against it as we yield our hearts to Christ. But if you are lost, you must see that you have a spiritual terminal disease. There is no hope for you unless you first deal with your sin and sin nature. Sometimes it’s hard to face up to reality, but it’s necessary. If my patients don’t believe me when I tell them they have cancer, they will not go through the necessary treatment needed for a cure. And if you don’t face the fact that your sinful heart is what is causing your existential loneliness, then you will never be cured either.
Sin causes us to be separate from others.

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be”

Sin affects us all. We all have the same problem. You would think that because we all have sin in common that it would bring us together. Sometimes it does but merely to sin more. Proverbs says,

“Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not be unpunished” (Proverbs 11:21).

Because of sin and mistrust you walk around as islands in the ocean of humanity. Sin and pride prevents you from showing your real self to others. There is great truth to Shakespeare’s words, “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances.” And this is all because of your sin expressing mistrust and pride toward others. Oh, I know you may have so called “close friends” to whom you have some level of trust. You may reveal something sensitive about yourself. But you dare not tell them “everything.” So you live your life in two realities. The “reality” of the world’s stage before others where you put on a happy and put together face. And then there is the reality of your existential loneliness when you are alone and “off stage.”
Having good Christian friends can help with your loneliness. We once were lonely, too, before we trusted Christ and had our sins washed in His Blood. The Bible says,

“The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (I John 1:7).

We had our sins washed in Jesus’ Blood. So we no longer have that deep loneliness. And we want to help you. We don’t want anything from you. We will never use you for our own purpose. Instead, we want to give you something and be a blessing to you. I hope you’ve realized this by now. But we also know that our friendship cannot heal your inner loneliness. Only Jesus can do that. We do hope and pray that you will trust Jesus soon and have you sins washed in His Blood. Let’s stand and turn in your hymnal to #337, “Nothing but the Blood.”

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
(“Nothing but the Blood” by Robert Lowry, 1826-1899).

And finally, sin causes us to be separate from God.

“All the days wherein the plague shall be in him he shall be defiled; he is unclean: he shall dwell alone; without the camp shall his habitation be”

The main cause of your existential loneliness is sin that separates you from God. Man was created in God’s image. We were made to know God through Jesus Christ His Son. And you will never feel complete and whole until you know God. Nothing can substitute for having a relationship with God. So your sin must be dealt with. As long as you have sin on God’s record, you will always be separate from God and under His judgment. You will never be healed from your existential loneliness. There is only one cure. You must have Jesus and His Blood to wash away your sin.

II. Second, your attempts to cure your loneliness have failed.

You cannot improve yourself. You cannot change your inner sin nature. You can change the externals so that others will think that you’re good. But God knows your heart. This goes against everything that you have heard your whole life. You were told not to think negatively. “Don’t stay the way you are. Improve yourself and feel better. Read a self-improvement book and be around happy people.” That sort of thing. People mean well. Perhaps others have tricked themselves, but you already know it’s not true. You’ve tried all sorts of ways to get rid of your anxiety and depression, but it hasn’t helped, has it? Has immersing yourself in social media, hanging out with friends, clubbing, drugs, and sex helped you deal with life? Do you have peace, or are you still lonely? You know the answer. At best these distract you from your pain. But when left alone the anxiety and depression come back. Because you haven’t dealt with the real problem.
Some have found a way to fill their life so that their existential loneliness doesn’t bother them too much. They can go on with their life. They live in constant denial. I hope you haven’t been able to do that. Because even if you’re no longer lonely, you still have your sin to deal with. The Bible says, “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23a). You are right now spiritually dead. You are separated from God. You are dead to spiritual things. If you remain in your sin, you will forever be separate from God in Hell when you die.
The Bible says,

“It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27).

You see, your sin must be dealt with. It must be washed away by Christ’s Blood while there is still time for you.

III. Third, only Christ can heal your loneliness by washing your sins clean in His Blood.

The leper that we just read about in the Old Testament illustrates the tragedy that sin brings. But there is a leper in the New Testament who found hope in Jesus. Please stand and turn with me in your Bible to Mark chapter 1, beginning with verse 40. We will read to verse 42.

“And there came a leper to him, beseeching [imploring, begging] him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, If thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean. And as soon as he had spoken, immediately the leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed” (Mark 1:40-42).

This man was also full of leprosy, full of sin. You also need to see you are full of sin. If you are not convinced of that, you will remain in your sin and existential loneliness. There will be no hope for you. Get out of the world of psychology and social media. You must be honest with yourself. Forget what other people think. Don’t worry about what other people do. You have sin, and you can’t change yourself.
This man knew that he was a wicked sinner. He knew that his leprosy merely reflected the sin he had within. So he sought healing through Jesus and His Blood. He was not only convinced in his mind that he was a sinner, but it affected his heart as well. His sinful nature bothered him. It humbled him. He begged Jesus to cure him. He knew that Jesus could heal him because he heard that Jesus had healed others. But still he wondered whether Jesus would heal him. You see, he didn’t know the character of Jesus. You don’t either. If you did, you would have come to Jesus long ago with your sins.
Jesus was moved with compassion for this leper. Jesus knows everything. He knew all the sins that this leper had done. He knows what a wicked sinner you are. He knows all the sins that you have done. But still He loves you and has compassion on you. He is reaching out to you tonight through the sermon. He wants to gather you to Himself. Jesus was looking at a crowd of lost sinners, and their condition broke His heart. The Bible says,

“But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd” (Matthew 9:36).

Christ’s love and compassion is shown throughout the Bible. He is never angry at people who have sinned. No, he wants to bring you to Him so that your sins can be washed in His Blood. The Bible says,

“Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood” (Revelation 1:5).

Jesus’s compassion is unlike anyone else’s that ever lived. He loved those that ignored Him. He loved those that wouldn’t listen to Him. He loved those who hated Him. He even loved those who crucified Him on the cross. He loves you. And He’s speaking to you tonight. He wants your sins to be forgiven through His Blood. He wants to give you peace and fulfillment in this life. He wants to heal your loneliness. Please stand and sing the hymn, “Yes, I know” that Mr. Griffith sang earlier.

Come, ye sinners, lost and hopeless,
Jesus’ blood can make you free;
For He saved the worst among you,
When He saved a wretch like me.
And I know, yes, I know,
Jesus’ blood can make the vilest sinner clean.
And I know, yes, I know,
Jesus’ blood can make the vilest sinner clean.
(“Yes, I Know!” by Anna W. Waterman, 1920).

Knowing that you have sin and that Jesus loves you is not enough. You must come to Him like that leprous man. Jesus is willing and able to save you. Like that man you can be instantly cleansed of your sin in His Blood. Dear friends, come to Jesus. He loves you so much. He pities you. He has compassion upon you. He knows the pain of your loneliness. He took this sin too upon Himself. He doesn’t want you to stay in your sin and loneliness. Come to Jesus. Come to the altar and I will speak to you about trusting Jesus. Come now as we continue to sing.

(END OF SERMON)